Ike
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An AngelI hope this comes out the right way,
4am and a k10 is ripping my head to bits, im sitting on the living room floor hugging my o2 bottle, i take a big lung full and hold it tight.. pain is ... well i diont need to say do i ?
I put my head on the floor and push it with both hands as hard as i possibly can hoping that maybe ill push my head through the floor, And the pain might stop. Face burning watering eye, crap running out of my nose you know the deal..
I hear a little noise and think god please say ive not woken the kids they cant see me like this... I look up and there is Lou standing there with a can of red bull in one hand and an ice pack in the other... she put them down next to me.. kissed my head and walked out back to bed....
Ive never cried so much in all my life... So proud that ive bought her up to be so caring and thoughtful but also that she should never see me like this and shouldn't know what to do. You know what i mean ? it killed me inside and i must have cried for about 30mins just sobbing ...
I hope that came out right..?.. This morning when i spoke to her about it she said, ''Its alright dad, i got ya''
 Should our kids really see this ? should they know what to do if?? strange feeling to just see her there ''tools'' in hand, My Angel huh ...
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phil h
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Princess Louisha certainly is an angel . Her caring nature has been learned from mom and dad . She is angel , reflecting her parents . She is so sweet . 
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phil h
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I hope you feel better . God love that daughter of yours ! I tried to track package I sent you . I can't go online to check it . I called post office and they can't track it ; they just get confirmation date of delivery . Perhaps it's crossing the pond on a 20 foot sailboat ........... 
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Shedz
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Ike, do you remeber Suzanne's little girl in the pushchair? Well Allisha is coming up to 3 very soon, when I get hit round Suzy's now Alli "guards" me, no one is allowed near me, if they try to speak or help Alli shouts, "No, Paul's head hurt". Why is it that children can show so much more thought kindness and consideration for our condition than most adults do?????
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Jill
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Louisha is definitely an angel!
Jill
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Ike
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I agree, An adult would have 'helped' and to be honest would have got shouted at as they would piss me off with ' do you want this take that lay down etc..
Kids got it right i think
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reggieman7777
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perfect lou u should be so proud ike i am back and net still on lol
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Sherri
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:smt022
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Sherri
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Ike
Brianna had no choice...God, I love her for all she did except when she went through her massage faze and hacked me on the back of the neck during a hit....but all the nights she layed on my lap, quietly comforting me. We are what we are Ike, and you're a great dad
Brianna thought everyone's mom used oxygen. When she had an earache, she went over to my tank, turned it on and put the mask on her ear. I had tears rolling down my face, that she had to live that way, with a single mom that was a CCH....but also was proud that she caught on that oxygen was to stop pain. What a brilliant child.
We are what we are Ike...Thank God for our children.
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phil h
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Look who's here !   Damn glad to see your printed words !
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Sherri
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I am so touched by this thread Ike....I come back and read it many times. It pulls out alot of pain in me...alot of gratitude....and clarity.
Our kids are so much cooler and laid back than we think...they go with it. I want to hug Lou, tell her what she did was so huge, so so kind. To her, she was just doing what needed to be done.
There is nothing sweeter, and more appreciated than when someone quietly lends us a hand when we're crippled in pain, wanting it to all finally end. There's nothing anyway can do to stop the pain, no matter what.
I think our supporters our hurting for us, frightened and feel so damn helpless seeing us in that state...we do look pretty messed up!! On top of it its so violent, we're thrashing, yelling and whatever else.
The quiet gestures can't be beaten...and then just leaving us to fight. We're fighting for them too...to stay around when its' finally over. I really love that you shared that with all of us.
I think of my angel, and how good she is with me, even as a toddler. She just seemed to know....to stay still, be quiet...but she had to be near me, so we worked it out. Things have a way of working themselves out...we just have to let them. Love You
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