phil h
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HOW WOULD YOU ANSWER THESE ?'sI received in an e-mail from Rev . Bob Ward with a couple of questions that nobody ever asked before . He asked , " I was wondering If you were to let your headaches talk to you & tell you why they were there , what would they say? Why do you think you started getting clusters? "............ Strange , I know I've wondered just this before and never had to offer these thoughts to anyone before . No one has ever asked this ....  I feel talons gripping my brain trying to tear it out of my haed and lift it to the skies ... And I have heard the beast say , " you belong to me " and " this for you "............ and " here's Johnny ".......... I have had different theories at different times . FIRST I believed this was related to my hepatitis C tx. and cancer tx . The chemo and radiation crap for both ailments was back to back and extended over a 20 month period . When it was over , I never really felt whole again . I have a very flattened autoimmunune system and it's like I have a broken thermostat in my head . Sweats and shivers come out of situations and climate that don't make sense . So that was my first thought of a damaged brain........................ SECOND I thought this was God having remembered that I had never had a hangover EVER , from my daily alcohol and drug use over 19 years . Sort off , oh yeah , here's those headaches that you refused deliver of all those years ........ Doesn't really fit in my belief and relalationship with GOD ............. THIRD It seemed surely it was a brain tumor and that would be that ...... It hasn't shown up as any brain tumors to date ........ A vengeful GOD would not has saved my soul so many times and bring to this place in time and this place with GOD to punish me now ............ That I don't believe ....................... SO GUYS LET ME HEAR YOU ANSWERS TO BOB"S QUESTIONS...................................It would help me to answer him ........ My wife believes GOD has used me to absorb the pain of many , to ease the pain of many . I can't accept that . I am not that important to GOD and I am not particularly special... I have an incredible pain threshold . I usually notice I've been hurt by seeing my blood : not be feeling the pain ..........  Please share with your thoughts on your answers to Rev, Bob's Questions ....... please .. :smt104 :smt104 :smt108 :smt108 :smt104 :smt108
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Tami
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Im not sure if i can answer 4 Ike but we always say we must have done something really bad in a past life!!!
We seem to get punished all the time for something we have never done! Our luck is so bad i guess its just another bit of bad luck in our lives.
So my answer is either bad luck or some kinda revenge for being bad!
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Annette
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If I am to answer from what I have observed from Daniel then below will be what I would say. Now bear in mind that I am pretty controversial when it comes to opinions so please be patient with me
I believer Daniels CH came about because
1- Genetic weakness for headaches : his mother and grandmother have terrible migraines.
2- Genetic weakness for nerves : there is a history of alzheimer and sleep walking and epilepsy in the family, as well as Meniere disease.
3- Genetic weakness for inflammatory disease : his mother has coeliac disease, sister has milk intolerance, his father has Crohn disease and several cousins have inflammation bowels disease. The largest amount of serotonin is in the bowels.
4- Genetic weakness for allergy : most people in his family is allergic to something or another.
5- Genetic weakness for psychological stress : there is history of depression, ADHD and other mental illness in his family.
6- Poor sleeping habit: Daniel is a poor sleeper since a child. There is no pattern to his sleep cycle. Maybe because the hypothalamus was already mal functioning or the prolonged poor sleep hygiene breaks it somewhere along the line.
7- Poor nutrition : due to allergy and inflammatory bowel disease, and a hectic disorganised lifestyle, his diet was terrible to say the least all of his young adult year.
8- Heavy smoking: now people are going to rip into me here ! LOL ! I dont know if he smokes because its a vasoconstrictor and hence made him feel better with some early shadow or not, but smoking reduces oxygen intake and a drop in oxygen level can trigger CH. There may be a link here. One of these days I am going to prove that ! 
9- Borderline hypertension : Daniel has borderline HT, it doesnt take much for him to have blood pressure jumping up and causing increase intracranial pressure.
10- Excessive psychological / emotional stress: its rather private so I wont get into details here but the first episode coincided with the most stressful time in his life. Once th stress was dealt with, the hits got better and the cycle eventually ended, after running for 8 months !
So there you are folks, very dry and scientific but then thats me icon_jokercolor.gif
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phil h
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Thank you Annette . Both you and Tami have given me plenty of food for thought to answer those questions ......... I have been a wild and evil beast myself a good part of my life . I come from a multigenerational line of of acohol , drug , nicotine dependence . Several incidents of depression , heart disease and high risk behaviors in my family tree...... The CH's may just be the some of all those parts ................... Maybe GOD is not punishing me ... Maybe I did what I did , and now I got what I earned............  :smt104
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Sherri
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Those are some really good questions Phil. I was aware of the emotions I felt early on during CH.
Rage being first. During hits I felt infuriated. I would think angry thoughts...
Which then it went to a feeling of being mocked...by the beast, by something...whatever...the unseen force Im fighting is.
I often dabble in the more spiritual causes...mind body connection. After so many years of this, I KNOW for sure, the way I think during a hit is IMPERATIVE...
I have to find "safe" places in my mind...if I am unable to focus enough to do so...that's when it's a horror show...the screaming, yelling, crying, punching...thinking of ways to end it because I cannot stand the pain anymore.
I have no idea why we are chosen...but I know there is a reason...there has to be. For now, I just want to find a happy medium somehow.
I don't think God is punishing you Phil. You may have made some mistakes along the way, but you have also worked hard, and to the very best of your ability turned your life around. I admire that very much. 
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Sherri
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This is for you Daniel...
I often think of you. You are always included in my prayers for the CCH family.
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phil h
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Thank you all . I e-mailed my response to Rev . Bob this morning . 
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Em
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Wow.
I can't imagine thinking anything during my headaches. Is that because it's all still fairly new? I can barely manage to speak or get an energy drink in me when they get past 6 or 7. It's taken me almost this long to be able to judge them on the scale.
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phil h
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All the thinking goes on before and after the hits . While being hit .... there is only pain , anger and despair.............feelings of timelessness and hopelessness...... my brain has no thoughts at that moment................... Welcome , I'm glad you're here Emily..... phil h :smt104
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